And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
