I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
