I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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