He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
