Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
