Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he shaved USA in his pubs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
