If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
