seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
