i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I love having hate sex.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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