worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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