is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
