butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
