Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
