think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
