So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
