Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
