I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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