Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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