love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
