somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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