I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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