well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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