It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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