Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
