so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
