grandma shit on top of the toilet
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
