I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
