But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My hand turned me down
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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