I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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