i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
