i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
