Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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