Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
