You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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