I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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