There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
