Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
