He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
