I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
