U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
where am i from again
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
