I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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