so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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