After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
