we have officially lost it.
Can i not drive my cunt home
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
