I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
