she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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