i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
