omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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