So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
