Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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