There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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