mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
