we're blogging at a bar
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
